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Ode to a politician (or advice)

Be vague, be evasive

Never answer a direct question

Use platitudes and clichés

Above all, be non-committal

Never let your true views be known

Be ambiguous

Sidestep the issues

Bend with the wind

Have no strong convictions

follow the headlines

agree with the polls

when caught off guard

use damage control

use manipulative slogans

that appease everyone

give lip service

to everything under the sun

concede and agree

embrace your party

to ensure your election

be all things to everyone